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Positive Self-Belief and Its Role in Coping with Stressful Events
You have just arrived in a foreign city. Considering yourself a seasoned adventurer who has a proven record of a sense of direction and lots of common sense, you are looking forward to exploring the city without a guide. You are confident that prior reading about this city will get you around without being lost. You feel safe with your knowledge of urban survival. You begin your tour in the morning with a vibrant spirit that shows itself in your brisk walk and care-free attitude. Your eyes capture the awe-inspiring architectural shapes of the city; your ears are attentive even to the frail cries of the street beggar. You smell the noxious exhaust fumes of vehicles along with the fragrance of street food. Your mind is immersed with processing all the scenes, sounds, and smell of this exotic city. Then you feel a tug at the back of your neck. Even before you realize what has happened, speeding away jubilantly in front of you, is one of the city’s snatch thieves, with your gold chain dangling in the tight grasp of his fist. You’re stunned! You cannot even open your mouth to shout! You stand there with your legs shivering involuntarily, your hand feeling the back of your neck. You are now officially the latest figure added to the snatch theft crime index. Later, back in your hotel room, you sit there disappointed at yourself, angry at the city’s law enforcement system, sad with losing your favourite gold chain, and your mind filled with questions. How can this happen? Why did I not anticipate this incident? Why was there no warning given about snatch thieves in this city? What about tomorrow? Am I still going to tour this city? What other dangers might there be lurking around the corners of this city and that I have not been warned about? You are feeling uneasy and unable to decide whether you should remain or leave the city immediately. Psychologically, this scenario illustrates the dilemma you (with the self-belief of a seasoned traveller) are confronted with, in the face of a stressful event. Using the foregoing scenario and other examples, I would like to highlight your positive self-belief (also termed as self-concept) and its role in coping with stressful events.
Self-Concepts
Self-concepts (also termed self-schemas) are simply a collection of beliefs about oneself. You have self-beliefs for almost everything in life. Self-beliefs are one of the primary and core components in your personality. Your self-beliefs are colored by your culture and your past experiences. That is the reason why there is a difference in the meaning of the same self-belief (e.g. love) held by persons of two different nationalities. And each self-belief has its corresponding thoughts and emotions (can be positive or negative) attached to it. The intensity of the thoughts and emotions is dependent on how often you utilize a particular self-belief. Take for an example, a female whose vocation is teaching and who might end up displaying an air of instruction in her home life. A journalist might first notice a grammatical error in his lover’s letter before recognizing the tone of her love.
In applying the above knowledge of self-beliefs to the scenario of yourself as a seasoned traveler, the thoughts that reinforced and gave you self-assurance were, that you had a proven record for a sense of direction, lots of common sense, had done prior reading about the city and had knowledge of urban survival. The self-belief and its complementary self-assuring thoughts created a vibrant spirit (emotions / feelings) reflected in the brisk walking and care-free attitude (behaviour). What does this mean?
Emotions and Behaviours
It means that your self-beliefs regarding anything affect and is affected by your emotions and feelings which in turn influence your behaviour.
When your positive self-beliefs balance your emotions and behaviours, it will result in positive emotions and positive behaviours leading to a harmonious, stable and holistic life.
Self-Concepts
Self-concepts (also termed self-schemas) are simply a collection of beliefs about oneself. You have self-beliefs for almost everything in life. Self-beliefs are one of the primary and core components in your personality. Your self-beliefs are colored by your culture and your past experiences. That is the reason why there is a difference in the meaning of the same self-belief (e.g. love) held by persons of two different nationalities. And each self-belief has its corresponding thoughts and emotions (can be positive or negative) attached to it. The intensity of the thoughts and emotions is dependent on how often you utilize a particular self-belief. Take for an example, a female whose vocation is teaching and who might end up displaying an air of instruction in her home life. A journalist might first notice a grammatical error in his lover’s letter before recognizing the tone of her love.
In applying the above knowledge of self-beliefs to the scenario of yourself as a seasoned traveler, the thoughts that reinforced and gave you self-assurance were, that you had a proven record for a sense of direction, lots of common sense, had done prior reading about the city and had knowledge of urban survival. The self-belief and its complementary self-assuring thoughts created a vibrant spirit (emotions / feelings) reflected in the brisk walking and care-free attitude (behaviour). What does this mean?
Emotions and Behaviours
It means that your self-beliefs regarding anything affect and is affected by your emotions and feelings which in turn influence your behaviour. It is therefore of vital importance to inculcate and develop positive self-beliefs. Why do you need to inculcate and develop positive self-beliefs? When your positive self-beliefs balance your emotions and behaviours, it will result in positive emotions and positive behaviours leading to a harmonious, stable and holistic life.
When your self-beliefs become negative and emphasize on behaviours and neglect your emotions, you will suffer from emotional disorders resulting in psycho-personality problems. For an example, in certain collective cultures women are expected to hide their emotions. This has led them to walk around like emotional time bombs. One of the many negative results from emotional neglect is that a lot of these women suffer from depression and have suicidal ideation.
When your self-beliefs become negative and emphasize on emotions and neglect your behaviour, you will be led to develop deviant behaviour resulting in psycho-social problems. For example, Mr. X has strong a self-belief and feelings towards not wasting anything. He believes in saving for the future. His belief is translated into extreme action by turning his home into a junkyard from which he gains no profit.
Self-Beliefs and Stressful Events
The snatch thief incident created negative emotions of disappointment, anger, sadness, indecisiveness and uneasiness which affected your confidence as a seasoned traveller. But at the same time, the emotions also affected the behaviour. It led to indecisiveness rather than taking action to resolve your dilemma. If this psychological state is unresolved, it might develop in you paranoid thinking and behaviour in relation to walking on the streets of any city. You might resort to an over emphasis on security in your travel plans and arrangements which would effectively lead to unpleasant travel experiences. How do you reassert your positive self-belief after a stressful event?
The role of Self-Belief in Coping with Stressful Events
The psychological solution lies in reasserting the initial positive self-belief. Ignoring your current negative emotions, you must deliberately and consciously rebuild your positive self-belief by first changing your behaviour. The reason for ignoring the emotions initially is because it is easier to change the behaviour rather than the emotions. You must replace your negative behaviour with positive ones. Once the negative behaviour begins to change, the changes in the negative emotions will follow. How can you reassert your initial positive self-belief?
- Regardless of how you feel, confront your stressful events either gradually or immediately. Running away from problems only delays the eventual confrontation and might also increase your problems further. For example, if you are sitting in your room feeling depressed, go out with your friends. Soon your feelings of depression will lessen. Take steps to resolve your problems. As you see results in your problem solving, you will also begin to feel more positive.
- Appraise your stressful events objectively. Avoid subjectivity. Most problems in life anyway are the result of subjective choices and appraisals. Subjective appraisals of problems lead to lopsided solutions which create imbalances in your life.
- Examine the stressful events from different perspectives to determine multiple options for resolving them.
- Apply the simplest and most effective solution available to overcome your stressful events.
- Seek professional and social support if you find that you lack the psychological strength to face those stressful events.
- Make it a daily habit to inculcate, develop and live by positive self-beliefs, emotions, and behaviours. Think, read, write, talk, discuss, view, and network with persons who belief in positive self-beliefs, emotions and behaviour.
Positive self-beliefs are the first step in building a hardy personality in facing-up to life’s challenges including stressful events. These days there should be no exception to anyone avoiding stressful events in their lives. Thus, having positive self-beliefs is one of the norms and not an option for successful modern living.
About the Author
Qualifications: Th. Dip (MTBI, 1978); Th.B. (MBTS, 1982); MSCP (AU, summa cum laude, 2010)
Professional Status: Counselling Psychologist
Email Contact Info: thesigannadarajan@gmail.com
Author’s Blog: http://thesigannadarajan.blogspot.com/
Available for: Consultation and Training
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